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Write
a book. |
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To
any publishers who might have inadvertently, or god bless,
advertently stumbled across this site, I want to write
a book. Better still, I want to be paid to write a book.
I’m thinking I should get a $5 million advance,
50% paid out at contract signing and 50% paid out at submission
of complete manuscript. I think a 35% royalty is more
than fair, net 30 days after earn-out, no reserve against
returns. I’ll want all books from the first printing
to be bound in alligator skin, with a guaranteed print
run of 500,000 copies. Later paperback editions can, of
course, be bound in paper.
I’ve been throwing around some ideas about what
I’d want to write. Here are some titles to whet
your appetite:
•
The Hegelian Dialectic in Darwinian Evolution
• 100 Things I Want To Do Before I Die
• Zeitgeist, a Yucky Word: Chronicles of madman
petitioning to have a word removed from the English
language
• Another 100 Things I Want To Do Before I Die
• Parables in Science: Judeo-Christian Ethics
Told Through Scientific Theory
• Me and My Friend Albert
• Salt Farming and Other New Age Careers
• I Wrote a Stupid Book for $5 Million and Got
It Bound in Alligator Skin
[July
2002]
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